Gothic Historical Romance Cover Blurbs

I created the Too Wicked To Kiss page on my website before my book had a cover, much less back cover copy. Writing a proposal synopsis for a publisher is bad enough–how was I going to describe the story for the Internet in just a few paragraphs? I thought over the main points I wanted to convey, and came up with:

Miss Evangeline Pemberton can see the Future. Sometimes. The Past, too, although that tends to be less useful, as she can’t change what’s already happened.

One might think the most irksome characteristic of her alleged “gift” is that said visions are followed by debilitating headaches. Or that they’ve got her running for her life. But no. By far the most vexing quirk is that these fantasies accompany all skin-to-skin contact. Which means she can’t touch anyone. Not even the tall, dark, and brooding recluse in her Present.

Gavin Lioncroft is a wealthy committed bachelor with nothing but time on his hands. Well, and blood. (But he’s not telling how that got there.) And an impromptu house party. (He hasn’t the slightest idea how that happened.)

His very first night back in the bosom of High Society and the man he threatens to kill turns up dead. Good. The cad had it coming. But just because he’s dodged the hangman’s noose before, doesn’t mean Gavin will get away with murder again. And this time, there’s no fading into the shadows. The only chance of saving his neck is by risking his heart–to the one woman from whom he can hide nothing.

Not perfect, but I thought it got the basic idea across. Months later, I got to see the actual cover blurb created by my publisher for the book:

HIS TOUCH HOLDS HER CAPTIVE…

From the ravens circling its spires to the gargoyles adorning its roof, Blackberry Manor looms ominously over its rambling grounds. And behind its doors, amid the flickering shadows and secret passageways, danger lies in wait.

TO HIS EVERY DARK DESIRE…

Evangeline Pemberton has been invited to a party at the sprawling estate of reclusive Gavin Lioncroft, who is rumored to have murdered his parents. Initially, Gavin’s towering presence and brusque manner instill fear in Evangeline…until his rakish features and seductive attentions profoundly arouse her. But when a guest is murdered, Evangeline is torn. Could the man to whom she is so powerfully drawn, also be a ruthless killer?

TOO WICKED TO KISS

You can see which one of us is the professional, right? LOL. I thought they did a great job at evoking the right mood without giving away too much of the story.

What do you think? In your opinion, what makes good (or bad!) back cover copy? How might I have improved my original attempt?

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