|
Hi-Jinxed
A Nether-Netherland Story
Two troublesome facts jerked anthropologist Trevor Masterson from his favorite erotic dream.
First, he'd fallen asleep facedown on the specimen tray next to his sleeping bag, and now miscellaneous debris dug into his skin, clinging to his chin like a dirt goatee.
Second, the female form struggling to free herself from the mosquito netting looked nothing like Katrina-the only female on Trevor's team-and more like a Victoria's Secret model.
How long had it been since he'd laid eyes on a woman who wasn't covered in dirt? Three weeks? Four?
A dusty tent on the edge of a Costa Rican rain forest was an unlikely place to encounter a moonlit silhouette like the one tangled in the mosquito net lining the tent flaps. Maybe he wasn't quite as awake as he'd thought.
"May I help you?" he ventured, the words scratchy against his dry throat.
"Shhh, Angus, niñito," came the soft reply. She broke free from the netting. "Duérmete."
Trevor frowned. Niñito… niñito… Little Angus? Who the hell was Little Angus? He rubbed the heel of one hand across his cheeks, dislodging the assorted dirt. Usually, the women in his dreams had much better names for him than Little Angus.
"I'm not little," he muttered, struggling to his feet. "Or Angus. Who the hell are you?"
"I'm a tooth fairy, of course." The canvas flaps fluttered closed, enshrouding them in darkness. The faint scent of vanilla musk spiced the air. "Go back to sleep or I won't leave any money under your pillow."
"I don't have a pillow." Trevor ducked when his head scraped the top of the tent. "And it'll cost you plenty if I have to replace my mosquito netting."
What the hell was happening here?
He groped for the fallen Mag-lite beneath the folding tray and aimed the mega-watt beam at the curvy intruder.
Chin-length silver-blonde hair fluttered above naked shoulders. A barely-there Tinkerbell-style dress shimmered from breasts to thighs. Thin black cat-eye glasses framed wide hazel eyes. But even more bizarre than the bare feet was the pair of oversize glitter wings protruding from her back.
Either Halloween started in May this close to the equator or something was seriously wrong here.
She lunged at him. "Turn off the light!"
Trevor ducked, and his foot tangled in his sleeping bag. He landed on his back with the woman sprawled on top of him, the tip of her nose rubbing against the side of his. She stared at him without moving. He stared back, hyper-conscious of every inch of her delectable body pressing against his.
If he moved even a millimeter, his mouth would be directly underneath hers. Matter of fact, their bodies were perfectly aligned for some hot, sweaty sleeping bag action.
As if he'd spoken the thought aloud, she snatched the flashlight out of his hand, leapt to her feet and pointed the beam at Trevor.
The stifled gasp and wavering light indicated that his well-worn khakis did a poor job of hiding the effects of a good dream and a real woman.
He crawled across his sleeping bag to light the battery-operated camping lantern by his tray.
"Who are you really?" he demanded, rising to his feet. "And where are your shoes?"
"I'm Daisy le Fey." She tossed his flashlight next to the lantern. "And tooth fairies don't wear shoes."
What kind of woman crept around the Costa Rican countryside in fake wings and painted toes? Trevor wasn't usually one for wings of any sort, but painted toenails on the other hand…
He prowled forward, ducking slightly to edge her closer to the opening of the tent. "Why wouldn't fairies wear shoes?"
Her back hit the screened flaps. "Some do, just not tooth fairies. It's not part of the dress code. Now, where's Angus?"
He blinked. "Who?"
"Angus!" She glared at him as if he were in her way. "I need to give him a boon for his tooth."
"Listen, lady." Trevor's arms crossed over his chest. "Nobody on my team is named Angus. I insist you leave." He stabbed a finger toward the flaps. "Immediately."
"This will all be over in a minute," she muttered and ducked under Trevor's pointing arm. She sank on all fours and began feeling around inside the bag. "Why don't you have a pillow?"
When her minuscule green dress rode up her thighs, Trevor learned another new fact about tooth fairies: The dress code did include lacy lingerie.
He swallowed. "Listen, lady," he began again. "I don't know what the hell you're doing here, but you have to stop. Now."
She peered at him from his sleeping bag with an expression that suggested she didn't think he was very bright. "Sorry, pal. I'm working. And if you're not Angus… who are you?"
Without answering, he bent over, wrapped his arms around Daisy's waist, and hauled her to her feet.
Those bizarre wings crumpled against his chest. He could no longer see those heart-stopping panties because her derriere was now flush against his crotch. Without unfolding his arms from around her flat stomach, Trevor leaned his cheek against hers.
"I'm Trevor Masterson," he murmured into her ear. "And you're on my dig." He whirled her around in his arms until their noses nearly touched.
"Oh," she breathed. "Right. Well, if you'll just point me toward the tooth, I'll be on my way. Can I-"
"No," he interrupted. "I'm not giving you anything. I want to know the real reason you're sneaking around. And don't give me any of that tooth fairy crap."
Her mint-laced breath mingled with his for a long moment.
"Let me ask you something," she said at last. "Is there any chance you might change your mind about handing over that tooth?"
"Nobody," he ground out, "is walking off with anything."
Daisy slipped from his grasp, turned and peeked out of the tent. "Sunrise? You've got to be kidding me." She glared at him over one shoulder. "I'm going to be in so much trouble for this. I'd spend the next hour searching your tent if I had to, but I can only travel under cover of night."
"Under cover of-" Trevor choked on the ridiculousness of the words. "Are you a tooth fairy or a vampire?"
Without dignifying his question with a response, she slipped outside the flaps.
He followed right behind her in order to make sure she wasn't invading any of the other tents. Except-
She was gone.
###
If they weren't careful with those damn cigarettes, Trevor was going to start strangling his students. He shielded his eyes from the last of the setting sun and stalked over to a red plastic cooler that had somehow become a makeshift break table.
"You know the rules," he called out, suppressing a smirk when almost everyone jumped. Everyone but Katrina Demarco, of course. She wouldn't jump if he dumped a bag of spiders in her lap. "No smoking on the dig. Go on, put 'em out. If you want to start a wildfire, go somewhere else."
Katrina rolled her eyes, but stubbed out her Lucky Strike on the bottom of her boot. "Thanks, Smokey the Bear, but we aren't on the edge of any old forest-it's a rain forest." She ran a hand over her short black dreadlocks. "How we gonna burn down a rain forest in the middle of the Costa Rican rainy season?"
"I don't want to see you try. Besides, is it raining right now?" Trevor gestured toward the lush green landscape and the sky awash in pinks and purples. "I didn't think so. Break's over. Let's start loading up the trucks before it gets too dark."
"Why you always gotta be bossing people around?" Katrina shoved her cigarettes into her canvas backpack. "Like a break once in a while gonna hurt somebody."
"I'm bossy," Trevor said, "because I'm the boss."
Since her gaze was focused elsewhere, he allowed himself a quick smile. Katrina liked to play tough and too-cool-for-school, but she was the first student ever to earn a perfect score on his infamously tricky Forensic Anthropology final exam.
Alberto Rodriguez tossed Trevor an apologetic shrug before turning to Katrina. "The professor just wants a head start, Kat. How will we be able to fly back home tomorrow night if our things aren't packed?"
"You call me 'Kat' again and I'll kill you," she muttered, but trudged off toward the dig with only a few pouting looks over her shoulder.
Before Alberto took his second step after her, his cell phone started ringing. "Diga," he answered cheerfully, followed by a lot of other words Trevor couldn't understand.
Although he was glad to have several Spanish speakers on his team this year, Trevor couldn't help but wish he'd had a chance to learn the language, too. After all, there they were in Central America. Trevor's limited Spanish vocabulary could direct them to shovels and specimen trays, but nothing non-work related. Thank God he was the professor in charge of the senior anthropology trips and not some drone stuck grading papers all year.
"¿Quién dice esto?" Alberto demanded into the phone. "El jefe debe saber."
Trevor shook his head. He recognized el jefe--the boss--but not much else. Luckily, he hadn't come to Nuevo Arenal for language immersion. "Nuevo" was a word he already knew, meaning "new." They stood on the edge of Nuevo Arenal because the original Arenal was buried underneath a lake. And wherever a town lay hidden, Trevor was right there to uncover its secrets.
"Dios mío," Alberto breathed. "El jefe le va a matar."
Regardless of whatever Alberto was saying about him, Trevor lived for the thrill of discovery. Whether he traveled somewhere exotic or stayed back home in the Midwest, he loved being the one to unearth clues about other people's ways of life.
"Gracias, hermanita," Alberto said for the third or fourth time. "Te amo. Ciao-ciao." He sheathed the cell phone and stared at Trevor without blinking.
Trevor waited to hear the news. "What?" he snapped, when it looked like Alberto might just stand there staring for the rest of the night.
"That was my sister."
"So? Wait. Which sister? The one that works for the Dean?"
"That's right. Rosa." Alberto tapped the cell phone against his cheek. "She says the budget cuts are worse than projected and that most of the non-tenured professors won't be returning next year."
Trevor blinked. Non-tenured professors. Like him.
"What's that got to do with me?" he asked with more nonchalance than he felt. "I'm up for tenure next month. If the vote goes well, I'll be leading the senior trips for the next twenty years. Maybe you can TA for me next summer, too."
Alberto squinted toward a spot somewhere over Trevor's shoulder. "Well, that's the thing."
"What's the thing?" Trevor demanded, doing his best not to shake the skinny kid.
"Rosa was doing some snooping-she's still got that crazy crush on you-and she saw the plans for next year. Talk about slashing budgets. She says the Anthropology Department won't be able to offer everyone tenure because they'll have to let someone go."
"Who's everyone? The only other professor up for tenure is Dr. Berrymellow." Trevor leaned over and plucked a large misshapen stone from the moist soil. "And which one of us is out here actively doing field research, putting the university's name on the map? Me." He brandished the rock as though proving his point.
"But which one has been back in Indiana for the past four weeks, treating the department heads to golf outings?" Alberto asked sadly. "Not you."
"Shit," Trevor muttered. It was a sad fact of life that many political decisions were made over 18 holes and a case of Heineken. He needed to get back as fast as possible. The school had contracted a private jet company to make two trips. He'd just have to change a few of the details. "Katrina!" he yelled toward the dig.
She popped her head up and sprinted toward him as if she'd been hoping he'd call another break. "Yeah, boss?" Katrina slung off her backpack. "Change your mind about the cigarettes?"
Trevor tossed the rock from one hand to the other. "No, I changed my mind about who goes home first tomorrow."
"What? You said me and Alberto head out on the afternoon flight with the pottery, and you were gonna take the evening flight with the rest of the crew."
"In the immortal words of Willy Wonka-scratch that. Reverse it." Trevor considered the dozen tents lined behind a row of Jeeps. "I'm putting you in charge of the equipment and half the team. The skeleton, the artifacts, and the other students come with me."
Katrina scowled. "I don't wanna be in charge. Why do I get stuck hauling around equipment all the time? Is it because I'm black?"
"No," Trevor said. "It's because I trust you to do things right."
"What should we do with the laptop?" Alberto asked. "I downloaded all the pictures onto it this afternoon."
"Let Katrina hold onto that." Trevor peered closer at the rock. Too bad it was just a rock, and not something career-making like, say, a prehistoric baking tool, or maybe even proof of a previously undiscovered culture. "She can add descriptions to the photos and finish transcribing the written field notes while you're waiting for the plane."
Katrina sighed. "I'd rather not."
"Tough luck. TA stands for Teacher's Assistant. I'm the teacher. Assist me." Trevor checked his watch. Eight-thirty. "Once you've got your stuff packed up, go ahead and get some rest. Early day tomorrow."
He glanced at his tent. The flaps fluttered in the wind. Weird. Hadn't he zipped them closed? Hopefully no strange critters were inside eating all his power bars and peeing on his sleeping bag.
As if conjured straight from the libidinous recesses of Trevor's mind, the tent flaps parted and a small bare foot poked through. As luck would have it, the foot belonged to last night's pixie princess, as did the rest of the curvy body unfolding from his tent like a butterfly from a cocoon. Hopefully he wasn't hallucinating fantasies in front of his students.
"Damn, boss." Katrina punched him in the shoulder. "Next year, can I bring a boy toy?"
Before he could think of an appropriate professorial response to that one, Daisy caught Trevor's helpless stare and started running.
Toward him.
"Trevor!" she hollered. "Trevor, it's me, Daisy!"
"Too bad my body's not shaped like that." Katrina patted her hips. "Look at those legs go!"
"I'm looking, I'm looking," Alberto said. "I can't stop."
Trevor couldn't even reprimand him. He was doing the same thing.
Daisy ran toward them, still wearing a tiny green dress, the cat-eye glasses, and nothing much else. Bare shoulders, bare back, bare legs, bare feet…
She tripped on the rutted grass and ran smack into him.
He wrapped his arms around Daisy's naked shoulders to keep her from knocking them both down. Or so he told himself.
"Er, hello," he managed. "I didn't expect to see you again."
"Shyeah," Katrina muttered. "First name basis out here in the rain forest? I bet."
"I looked through every inch of your sleeping bag, and I can't find it anywhere." Daisy blinked wide, hazel eyes at him. "What did you do with it?"
"If you're talking about what I think you're talking about," Katrina said with a smirk, "that's because it's out here with him. It goes wherever he goes. Unless he's got a detachable one."
Daisy's eyes fluttered heavenward before she fixed him with an earnest stare. "Do you have it with you?"
It wasn't until she twisted out of his arms in order to pat him down that Trevor realized he hadn't let her go. Now that she was no longer plastered to the front of his body, hopefully he could get her off his dig and out of his hair.
"I'm Alberto," said Alberto helpfully, and shoved his hand toward Daisy.
Trevor knocked Alberto's hand down. "We're not throwing a party here. Miss… miss…" Damn. What the hell was her last name? "Miss Daisy was just leaving."
Katrina's hands fisted on her hips. "What, like 'Driving Miss Daisy'? Is that some kind of racist joke?"
"I'm not going anywhere until I get it," Daisy said, her eyes never leaving his. "I told you I was coming back for it. You can either give it to me on your own, or... or… or I'll take it from you."
"Dios mío," Alberto whispered. "What do I have to do to get women to talk to me like that? You're the professor. Teach me. Please."
"Okay, this is getting out of hand," Trevor began and then paused. Out of hand. He was still holding the stone in his hand. Important artifacts were often buried in rock. Alleged tooth fairy or not, she was here on their dig site and had no reason to suspect any teeth they'd uncovered wouldn't be fossilized. "Here." Trevor thrust the stone into her hand.
"I don't even want to know what kinky madness you get up to," Katrina said and took several steps backward. "But I'm going to tell everyone to call you 'Professor Playboy' from here on out."
Daisy cast a dubious stare at the stone in her palm. "That's not a tooth. That's a rock."
"A tooth?" Katrina repeated. "What is she, a nympho dentist?"
"It's what I was working on the other night," Trevor explained in his best "teacher" voice. "It's a very important artifact. I'm an anthropologist. I look for clues in the rocks, like an archaeologist. Sometimes bones get fossilized." Trevor gave Daisy his most rakish smile, blasting her with the full force of his dimple. "I was going to dig out the tooth for you, but I didn't realize you'd be back so soon."
"Why should I believe you?" she asked, eyes narrowing. "I won't get three feet away before you tackle me to the ground and wrestle it back."
Alberto swallowed. "Hey, prof. If you don't, can I?"
"Nobody's tackling anyone." Trevor stepped closer to Daisy, blocking her from Alberto's view. "It's yours. I promise."
She threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she murmured in his ear. "I don't know how, but I'll pay you back. I swear." Her breath steamed his earlobe and tightened his pants. "I owe you big time."
Daisy tilted back her head and aimed a quick kiss toward his cheek. Trevor turned to warn her against setting a bad example in front of his students and his mouth inadvertently brushed over hers. They jerked their faces away so quickly, their noses bumped.
From the heat crawling up his neck, he'd guess his cheeks burned as bright as hers.
"Why don't you go back to my tent?" he suggested. "I'll meet you there in a minute. I've got to talk to my students for a quick second."
He couldn't keep his eyes from tracking her as she wandered across the grass toward the tent, hugging the rock to her chest.
"You ain't got to explain a single thing to me," Katrina informed him. "You're my anthropology professor, not my Sex Ed teacher."
"Exacto," agreed Alberto. "And I'll loan you some condoms if you need them."
"Why the hell did you bring condoms to the middle of the rain forest?" Katrina demanded.
"Hey, always be prepared." Alberto shrugged off his backpack. "They can come in handy. Professor Masterson needs them."
Katrina snorted. "You ain't Professor Masterson."
"That's enough." Trevor waved them both back toward the dig. "I don't need to borrow any condoms. Go pack. I'll be there in a minute."
"Better take more than a minute," Katrina called over her shoulder. "We'll time you."
"Christ," Trevor muttered. Nothing would screw up his chances of making tenure like rumors of sex with strangers during a student trip. He strode to the tent, threw open the flap, and nearly fell over.
Empty. Empty.
She was gone again.
###
Daisy's homing ring deposited her back in her office, where she leaned her forehead against the soft cubicle wall and tried to dream up a plan that wouldn't get her fired.
There was no way in Hades that massive stone would fit inside the mandatory glass vial. She plopped into her hot pink ergonomic swivel chair, fished the assigned tooth vial from her drawer, and peeled the "Angus" label off the glass.
The label refused to stick to the rock. Daisy tried a fresh, new label. Still no luck.
She pulled a Pearly States delivery pouch out from her desk drawer. With a sigh, Daisy stuffed in the stone and both semi-crumpled non-stick labels.
"Good enough for government work," she muttered.
All that mattered was that the tooth arrived safe and sound before anyone of consequence reported for duty tomorrow morning.
She pulled the pouch strings closed and the little red bag vanished with a pop. No going back now-the fossilized tooth had already arrived at its destination. Hopefully it wasn't a hassle to extract it from the stone. Maybe she should offer to devise some sort of automatic tooth extractor for situations like this.
Then again, maybe she shouldn't rock the boat.
Other tooth fairies got softly sleeping eight-year-olds every day of the week, but what did Daisy get on her first night out? A giant hunk of man, that's what. Fully grown. Fully awake. And by the feel of his body pressed against hers, fully aroused.
For the love of Venus, had she really kissed a human? What in the world had she been thinking? Clearly she hadn't been thinking. Wasn't that always her problem? Diving face-first into anything that crossed her path. Neurophysics, obsolete languages, tooth fairying. Only this time, she'd jumped headlong into a warm, solid wall named Trevor Masterson.
And kissed him.
Accidentally, but whatever. He'd invited her to stay.
Tent, etchings, magic wand collection-the subtext was clear no matter what dimension men lived in. Not that he wasn't tempting. If she didn't need to get the tooth back pronto, she might have considered taking him up on his offer. Well, and if sexual human relationships weren't expressly forbidden under penalty of banishment.
Daisy jumped to her feet, knocking the chair against the filing cabinet.
"Sorry, Bubbles," she whispered, holding up a hand for her blinking where-frog. He hopped from the cabinet top to her outstretched palm and shot her a baleful look
She grimaced. No harm, no foul, right? Nobody had to know the mission hadn't gone according to plan. Trevor didn't believe she really was a fairy. Her mentor Vivian had no clue the tooth collecting took an extra day. Nothing to worry about.
Bubbles gave a loud ribbit.
"Shh," Daisy whispered. She was pretty sure Vivian was long gone by now, but there was no sense hanging around to find out. "Take us home."
They materialized in the midst of pumpkin-strewn grass. Early morning sunlight filtered through the thatch of trees flanking the property. Her neighbor, a flying horse named Maeve, coasted down from the barn connected to Daisy's floating cottage and yawned.
"How'd it go with Project Tooth?" Maeve asked in a sleep-thickened voice.
"Not so good the first time. I ended up leaving without the tooth."
"You what?" Maeve stared at her, ears quivering. "You can remember equations to integrate fractals, and yet on your first tooth fairy assignment you forgot to pick up the tooth?"
"I didn't forget," Daisy said defensively. "He wouldn't hand it over."
"He-oh, no. They're not supposed to interact with you! Didn't you tell me that if the child woke up, all you're allowed to do is lull him back to sleep? If the Elders find out about this, you'll be lucky to return to your cubicle at the Neurophysics Compound." Maeve's head tilted to one side. "If the child mentions you, perhaps his parents will just chalk it up to youthful imagination."
"I'm not so sure about that." Daisy bit her lip. "I didn't see any parents around. He's got dark brown hair, long eyelashes, and a five o'clock shadow. I've never met an eight-year-old with a five o'clock shadow."
Maeve's tail flicked toward the lawn. "You're supposed to sneak in and grab the tooth, not stand around measuring eyelashes."
"Well, I got distracted. He wasn't supposed to be adult or awake." Daisy frowned. "Science is so straightforward. How could something as simple as collecting a tooth turn into such a disaster?"
"Beats me." Maeve shrugged. "What did Viv say?"
"I didn't tell her," Daisy admitted. Vivian wasn't the sort of person you let down, if you wanted to keep your job. And there wasn't anything Daisy wanted more than to make fairy and earn her wings. "Besides, I already turned it in. Even if the Pearly States calls to say they received the tooth a day late, I can always pretend I got sidetracked and forgot to send it in. You know, play the nutty scientist card. I may get in trouble, but at least I won't get anyone fired."
"I guess," Maeve said. "How'd you get the tooth from Mr. Eyelashes?"
"I went back." Daisy adjusted her glasses with the back of her hand. "And this time, Trevor handed it right over."
"He did?" Maeve tossed her mane from narrowed eyes.
Daisy set Bubbles onto a nearby pumpkin. "Yep." He hopped down into the grass.
Maeve frowned. "Why?"
"What do you mean, why?" The first fluttering of doubt curdled in Daisy's stomach. She'd been so desperate not to screw up her apprenticeship that it hadn't even occurred to her he'd lie about it. Who lied to the Tooth Fairy? "Maybe he cooperated because I accidentally kissed him?" she suggested. But wait... he gave up the goods before the kiss...
"Zeus and Hera, Daisy, you kissed a human?" Maeve whistled through her teeth. "What were you thinking?"
"I've been over this with myself already this morning," Daisy muttered irritably. She'd better not have mucked up her apprenticeship with her mouth's wanderlust. "I was obviously not thinking. Can we let it go?"
Maeve whinnied nervously. "You better hope the Elders don't find out. The penalty for unsanctioned human interaction is steep."
"I know, I know." Daisy located a pail of pixie dust from behind one of the pumpkins and dipped the starred tip of her wand into the sparkly powder. "I'm going to practice some magic to take my mind off of my troubles. Want to help me?"
Maeve's muzzle dipped into the pail. "Where'd you get this stuff? It smells funny."
Daisy shrugged. "From a behind-the-scenes tour of the Pixie Dust Factory."
"What, that Make Your Own Pixie Dust field trip in ninth grade?"
"Waste not, want not." Daisy shook the excess powder from her wand. "How am I supposed to make fairy if I don't practice?"
"Maybe you're not fated to make fairy." Maeve cocked her head to one side. "Why do you kill yourself trying to be magical? Just because it's the one thing you're not good at?"
"No, because half a decade researching angel/demon brain discrepancies in proto-apocalyptic patterns is enough drudgery for one person. I could use some adventure. Besides, if I want to be respected, I have to be more than a mere scientist. I have to be magical."
Maeve kicked at the pail with one hoof. "Why don't you get the premium dust fairy godmothers use?"
"I would if I could." Daisy shook the excess dust from her wand. "Until I make tooth fairy, I won't have a position high enough to authorize the super-charged kind. I'll get the generic brand at the bi-monthly bazaar once I use up all this."
"But your mom's a fairy godmother," Maeve insisted. "Can't she score some primo dust for you on the sly?"
"Dad's a guardian angel," Daisy pointed out. "He doesn't believe in bending rules. Even for me."
Maeve shook her head. "Isn't that what fairy godmothers do? Bend rules, I mean?"
"Save it. I heard both sides of that argument every night of my life until I moved in next to you. If I'm going to get anywhere in life, I'll have to do it on my own. Or mostly on my own." Daisy gestured with her wand. "Are you going to help me practice spells or not?"
"Settle down, tiger." Maeve stretched her hind legs. "Let's do this." She glanced around the yard. "You see that barnacle tree over there? Aim at one of the branches without geese. We're going to start very basic, with single-word spells. Let's try a rainbow sequence, one color at a time. Visualize the leaf turning the color of Santa's sleigh, speak the word 'red' very loudly and clearly, and aim carefully."
"All at once?" Daisy squinted at the tree.
"Of course, all at once. That's how it works." Maeve took a few steps to the side. "Go ahead."
Daisy sucked in a lungful of cool air and pointed the wand at the barnacle tree. Red, red, red. Santa's sleigh. Fire trucks. Gnome hats. Trevor's plastic cooler.
"Red!" Daisy shouted. A thick line of glittering light shot out from the tip of the wand and knocked a goose off its branch. The goose landed on the ground as a pumpkin.
A bright red pumpkin.
Daisy swore under her breath. "I'm never going to get this right."
"Yes, you will. It's red, isn't it? Pick a different color and try again." Maeve paused. "This time aim for a leaf, not a bird. I don't want to have to turn a rainbow-colored pumpkin patch back into a flock of geese."
Fine. Daisy dipped her wand back into the pixie dust and faced the tree again. Maybe green would be easier than red. Green, green, green. Troll skin. Dewy grass. Trevor's sleeping bag.
"Green!" Daisy shouted.
A ray of sparkling light zapped another goose off the tree. This time, the odd-shaped pumpkin was a rugged, army green. Yep, pretty much like Trevor's sleeping bag.
The remaining geese cast Daisy icy glares and took to the sky in a cacophony of flapping wings and indignant squawking.
Two large winged figures dove in from the opposite direction and lighted on the ground in front of the colorful pumpkins.
"Hi, Dad. Hi, Mama." Daisy dropped the wand to her feet and surreptitiously nudged the pixie dust pail behind a pumpkin. "Out on a Sunday flight?"
"Oh, come here, sweetie." As usual, Daisy's mother looked gorgeous with her silvery upswept hair, delicate translucent wings, and flowing sky-blue gown. "I've missed you." She opened her arms and smiled.
Daisy dutifully walked over for a hug.
"We wanted to know how the assignment went." Her father crossed his arms over his powerful chest, forcing his strong white wings to unfurl even further. He was more into guarding than hugging. "We expected you to drop by this morning and tell us all about it."
"Yes, well…" Daisy bit her lip. "I got sidetracked."
"Oh, sweetie." Mama held Daisy by the shoulders. "I knew it would be tough to acclimate at first. I hope you aren't too far out of your comfort zone. You didn't have an incident, did you?"
"Um, no, nothing like that." Daisy gave her head a quick shake. "Everything went perfectly fine."
Maeve coughed and Daisy shot her a dirty look.
"How about you, young lady?" Dad boomed. "How's your job going?"
"Fine, fine," Maeve answered. "Got a second? I want to ask you a question about skyway traffic and flying monkey violations."
"Absolutely."
Maeve trotted off with Dad, leaving Daisy alone with her mother.
"Tell me the truth, now, sweetie." Mama patted Daisy's arm. "You aren't regretting giving up your career at the Neurophysics Compound, are you? Your research team and pet projects and awards?"
"Not at all." Daisy gestured over one shoulder. "All that's well and good, but as soon as I earn my wings, I'll actually be respected for once."
Mama's forehead scrunched. "Neurophysics is respectable."
"Is it? Can you look me in the eye and tell me it doesn't bother you when people ask how a powerful fairy godmother could possibly have given birth to an ordinary, non-magical scientist?"
"I don't care what other people think. I'm your mother and I love you."
"Then you'll love me even more when I have real wings like you." Daisy forced a smile. "Can we talk about something else now?"
"Certainly." Mama tapped a slender finger against her chin. "Maeve has a serious boyfriend. When are you going to find someone?"
Jupiter's rings, any topic but that.
"I already did," Daisy said with as much dignity as she could muster. After all, she wasn't technically lying. She did find a man, even if she couldn't keep him. Maybe she should've waited for Trevor in that tent after all, just to have something to tell her mother.
"Oh, sweetie, that's wonderful!" Mama's hands clasped to her chest and she beamed at Daisy. "Aren't you going to tell me all about him?"
Daisy swallowed. "Um, no."
"Come on, sweetie, that's not how you treat your mother." Mama leaned forward until her flyaway hair tickled Daisy's nose. "I promise I won't pry into your business if you'll at least tell me his name."
"Fine." Daisy side-stepped backward. "His name is Trevor."
"Trevor." Mama sucked on her lower lip as if tasting the word. "Trevor. Well, that's not a very magical name."
Daisy rolled her eyes. "Not everyone is born magical, mother. For example, look at me."
Mama paled. "He's not… he's not a troll, is he?"
"Don't be prejudiced," Daisy said. "If I want to date someone with green skin, I will."
Mama clapped her hands to her throat and gasped dramatically.
Daisy sighed. "But for the record, no. He's not a troll. I swear. And that's all I'm saying about him." She pointed at her mother. "You promised you wouldn't pry."
"Arabella?" called Daisy's father as he came back down the hill with Maeve. "You about ready to go home? For some of us, Sunday is still the day of rest."
"Yes, dear, coming!" Mama hurried toward him with a simpering little smile.
A deafening clap of thunder filled the air. Scowling trolls in black Elders' Minions jackets tumbled onto the pumpkin-laden grass.
"See here," Dad demanded, positioning himself between the trolls and his family. "What's this all about?"
Whatever the hired muscle wanted, Daisy doubted they came bearing tidings of joy.
"DAISY LE FEY!" A loud, mechanical voice echoed through the countryside. "By order of the Elders Upon High, you are hereby brought under questioning for occupational misconduct."
Thick anti-magic netting whooshed down from the sky, trapping Daisy in its spider-web-like threads.
"All this for the tooth not fitting in a glass vial?" Daisy's fingers scrabbled through the holes in the netting. "This is an outrage! Dad, go get Vivian. She'll know what to do."
Daisy's father folded his arms over his chest and didn't fly anywhere.
"Sweetie," came Mama's disappointed voice. "You said the mission went well."
"Mostly well," Daisy amended. "Complications ensued."
"I knew you should've stayed a scientist," Mama said. "You were so good at dissecting brains."
"And I knew you shouldn't have kissed him," Maeve muttered. "Even if you were good at that, too."
Mama clapped a hand over her gaping mouth and fainted backward onto Daisy's father.
"Shut up, Maeve." Daisy threw a fistful of grass at her friend. "That isn't what this is about. The Elders are just making a big fuss because I didn't follow tooth containment protocol, that's all. This will be cleared up in no time."
"DAISY LE FEY," the voice roared. "You are hereby summoned for arraignment before the Elders. They will see you in one hour."
The trolls surrounded Daisy, hoisting her over their shoulders in a tangle of scratchy netting.
"Arraigned for what?" Dad scowled at the thick netting as he propped up Mama's limp body with one arm. "I demand an explanation."
A gnome stepped out from behind a row of Elders' Minions and unfolded an ivory scroll. "It has come to the attention of the Pearly States that Miss Daisy le Fey not only refused to collect the required tooth as is her job, but also fraudulently and with malicious intent deposited a dirty, misshapen rock in its place. The charge is Defrauding and Deceiving a Government Body."
"Whaaaat?" Daisy choked out. "Trevor said the tooth was buried inside the rock!"
The expression on the gnome's face confirmed what the clenching in Daisy's stomach had been indicating all day: Never trust a human.
She flailed against the thick netting and managed to get dropped to the ground when her foot connected with one of the Minion's bulbous noses. If Daisy ever laid eyes on Trevor again, she'd kill him.
Mama rose from her dramatically-induced faint long enough to gasp, "Trevor? The Trevor?"
Maeve shot Daisy a pitying stare as the trolls hauled her away. "Sometimes, my friend, a rock is just a rock."
Yeah, and sometimes Trevor Masterson was the world's biggest jerk.
###
Back to main Hi-Jinxed page
Back to complete listing of all stories
|
